When I actually think about it, I'm pretty sure that I saw this one coming from a mile away.
Ever since that day I asked, the day I decided that "Yeah, looks like prom's a no-go this year too," I knew it was coming. Ironically enough, I knew the answer that she would tell him too, because that's what happens when you factor in the chaos theory after all. And even though she told me what her answer would be if he asked, I knew that it was a lie.
... but I still accepted that blatant lie, because it was her. I still accepted that answer, because I wanted to believe that it would be true. I still accepted that answer, because I wanted it to be true.
Then again, if I wanted for it to be true so badly, why did I prepare myself for the pain that I feel right now? Why do I feel this pain right now, regardless?
... no matter what question I can ask about it, it all leads to the same answer.
-----
She smiled, even as her expression turned into hopelessness. He wanted to reach out and hold her to him, but she only stepped backwards again, away from him. “You love me.” It was a simple statement, a fact that he couldn’t hide from her, and even then surprise hit him with her words. “I realized that,” her smiled turned bitter, “but I can’t give it back. I can’t give you what you want."
“It doesn't matter,” he countered, his voice growing desperate, and he worked hard to reel it in, to keep control. “All I ask for is a chance.” The desperation in his voice, the confused look she gave him; this is what all his patience and hurt that had built up through time was going to boil down to. Silence took over.
And in enduring the long silence, she finally spoke, "I don't know anymore." She spoke with uncertainty, her voice wavering through the silence. "I don't know if I can give you that chance anymore."
Even now, whether or not she was willing to try still echoes through the silence.
-----
... the question remains: Will I try for that second chance... ever?
Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Where'd the Time Fly?
So as the top states, my current thought process is in the mode of "Oh man, where'd all the time fly to?"
... and hey, it's true. It seems like the last two weeks of my life kind of just flew past me. I feel like I'm in one of those alternate realities, that anything is possible (where my mindset is right now anyway), and that anything we believe is impossible is actually more likely to happen than it appears... which leads me to the xkcd comic this time... [link]. I have to wonder where it all went, but really... I know.
Back to the "Bee-"ginning: Key Club International Cali-Nev-Ha District Convention
Well, what's there to say about this? DCon this year was awesome. Ok, so it was fun last year, but this was the only surprising high point for me for Key Club this year. Lots of yelling, lots of insanity, and lots of cheering goes all around. This year we also got our own "A-Tech Key Club" shirts, which were awesome (last year we didn't get any). To be honest, this is only a summary of how I felt about it, and upon leaving Sacramento I realized that all that I cherished about Key Club will be missed, and that the people I've met because of KC will not be forgotten.
... I'm typing up a gigantic post about DCon itself later... pictures and all.
Heritage Night
As usual, A-Tech provides the annual "Heritage Night" festival, with lots of food, shows, and everything in between. I showed up late thanks to a traffic accident on the road that completely jammed up traffic where I was at, but I still came in and helped out in all ways possible. ^^-b From Korean dancing, Seung and Cheuk singing (which, perhaps the best thing I've ever seen in terms of overall humor... I mean, they just made it an awesome act), to all the best things that A-tech (and, in some cases, Las Vegas) has to offer to teach people of the culture from around the world. It was definitely fun.
Anyway... I was surfing through xkcd when this reminded me of Mythbusters... read it yourself and tell me this doesn't remind you of that one episode where they debunk gas myths.
Well, not much other than that. It's been awhile since I've actually written anything, but then again my life isn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world after all... I think I'll just sit back and contemplate for awhile on some things... get it out of my system or something.
... and hey, it's true. It seems like the last two weeks of my life kind of just flew past me. I feel like I'm in one of those alternate realities, that anything is possible (where my mindset is right now anyway), and that anything we believe is impossible is actually more likely to happen than it appears... which leads me to the xkcd comic this time... [link]. I have to wonder where it all went, but really... I know.
Back to the "Bee-"ginning: Key Club International Cali-Nev-Ha District Convention
Well, what's there to say about this? DCon this year was awesome. Ok, so it was fun last year, but this was the only surprising high point for me for Key Club this year. Lots of yelling, lots of insanity, and lots of cheering goes all around. This year we also got our own "A-Tech Key Club" shirts, which were awesome (last year we didn't get any). To be honest, this is only a summary of how I felt about it, and upon leaving Sacramento I realized that all that I cherished about Key Club will be missed, and that the people I've met because of KC will not be forgotten.
... I'm typing up a gigantic post about DCon itself later... pictures and all.
Heritage Night
As usual, A-Tech provides the annual "Heritage Night" festival, with lots of food, shows, and everything in between. I showed up late thanks to a traffic accident on the road that completely jammed up traffic where I was at, but I still came in and helped out in all ways possible. ^^-b From Korean dancing, Seung and Cheuk singing (which, perhaps the best thing I've ever seen in terms of overall humor... I mean, they just made it an awesome act), to all the best things that A-tech (and, in some cases, Las Vegas) has to offer to teach people of the culture from around the world. It was definitely fun.
Anyway... I was surfing through xkcd when this reminded me of Mythbusters... read it yourself and tell me this doesn't remind you of that one episode where they debunk gas myths.
Well, not much other than that. It's been awhile since I've actually written anything, but then again my life isn't exactly the most exciting thing in the world after all... I think I'll just sit back and contemplate for awhile on some things... get it out of my system or something.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Clarification pt.2
Ahaha, I suppose I should continue to update this now that I've already decided to actually do a really long update and what not.
Clarification... Because I Feel Bad (Not Really)
Ok, his name's really David... happy now? I should tell you though that Jeff (you know, the guy that you've been playing DOTA with?) thought your name really was Otis. I don't know why, but I thought that was hilarious.
So, in today's comic... Something that would be my future hobby. [link]
Once again, I should probably be doing homework, but I mean, I've been working on it all day... and really I'm just sick and tired of doing said homework.
Touch-a-Truck
No seriously, Touch-a-Truck means exactly what it means. I could've gone to Kiwani's One Day (or, Total K. Day), but it was either that or Touch-a-Truck, and I made a commitment to Touch-a-Truck first.
So anyway, Touch-a-Truck... lots of kids, lots of people, and of course... lots of trucks. It was mildly eventful, and I basically spent the time with Kassi and Winston learning about... well, lots of things. We basically directed people around and managed lines at the more "popular" trucks (like the fire engine and the helicopter... why a helicopter was there is still beyond me... must be considered a really big truck or something).
The List
So we're continuing the list... even though all that I've come up with is pretty much whatever was up in the past two posts and what not.
7. A Nice Bed - Yes, I've decided that a nice, soft bed is in order. It's something I need. ^^-b
Sadly, that's all I can come up with right now.
The Family
Well, this weekend my family is paying us (my mother and I, of course) a visit... just for kicks of course. Naturally there is no particular reason as to why they're visiting other than the fact that they're visiting. Lots of things planned, including a dinner at the ever famous Rosemary's and, of course, watching KA (alright! Mah-jong mafia strikes again!). Speaking of KA...
KA
The show was amazing. As an Engineer, I was perhaps more intrigued by the stage than by anything else. Don't get me wrong, the entire performance was perhaps some of the best things I've ever seen in my life, but seriously, that stage was unique in it's own sense. The whole show was designed around that stage, and anybody with an interest in a good storyline, acrobatics, and perhaps the coolest stage in the world should go watch that.
Well that's really all I have for now, and my family's going nuts playing Rayman: Raving Rabids... so I think I'm going to go join them in the meyhem. Peace till then. ^^-b
Clarification... Because I Feel Bad (Not Really)
Ok, his name's really David... happy now? I should tell you though that Jeff (you know, the guy that you've been playing DOTA with?) thought your name really was Otis. I don't know why, but I thought that was hilarious.
So, in today's comic... Something that would be my future hobby. [link]
Once again, I should probably be doing homework, but I mean, I've been working on it all day... and really I'm just sick and tired of doing said homework.
Touch-a-Truck
No seriously, Touch-a-Truck means exactly what it means. I could've gone to Kiwani's One Day (or, Total K. Day), but it was either that or Touch-a-Truck, and I made a commitment to Touch-a-Truck first.
So anyway, Touch-a-Truck... lots of kids, lots of people, and of course... lots of trucks. It was mildly eventful, and I basically spent the time with Kassi and Winston learning about... well, lots of things. We basically directed people around and managed lines at the more "popular" trucks (like the fire engine and the helicopter... why a helicopter was there is still beyond me... must be considered a really big truck or something).
The List
So we're continuing the list... even though all that I've come up with is pretty much whatever was up in the past two posts and what not.
7. A Nice Bed - Yes, I've decided that a nice, soft bed is in order. It's something I need. ^^-b
Sadly, that's all I can come up with right now.
The Family
Well, this weekend my family is paying us (my mother and I, of course) a visit... just for kicks of course. Naturally there is no particular reason as to why they're visiting other than the fact that they're visiting. Lots of things planned, including a dinner at the ever famous Rosemary's and, of course, watching KA (alright! Mah-jong mafia strikes again!). Speaking of KA...
KA
The show was amazing. As an Engineer, I was perhaps more intrigued by the stage than by anything else. Don't get me wrong, the entire performance was perhaps some of the best things I've ever seen in my life, but seriously, that stage was unique in it's own sense. The whole show was designed around that stage, and anybody with an interest in a good storyline, acrobatics, and perhaps the coolest stage in the world should go watch that.
Well that's really all I have for now, and my family's going nuts playing Rayman: Raving Rabids... so I think I'm going to go join them in the meyhem. Peace till then. ^^-b
Friday, April 4, 2008
Clarification
Just thought we'd clarify something totally random that Oti- I mean David... wanted me to clear up. His name's really Otis, he just doesn't want anybody to know that so we call him "David" for kicks... No seriously, it's the truth. ^^-b
Continuing the whole xkcd comic ideal, today's encompasses people's recent addiction to go to "blogger", so I've given them something to think about here.
I should really be doing homework right now, but you know how senioritis begins to affect you, and you're just like "... well, forget that." So instead I'm on here, typing this. Go figure, right?
The List
... so continuing our list, I've thought of something that would help... immensely.
4. Money - I know, I know, it seems kind of natural that I'd ask for something like this, but hey, money is perfectly acceptable for an Asian person like me.
5. Socks - Thinking about that list of all-time gifts has established that getting socks would be cool... because that way I don't have to buy any.
6. Anything me - I mean, if you think I'd like it (or love it, either way) then I'd go for it. The perfect example was Lisa's two books that she bought me for my b-day, I thought that was awesome.
Amazing Feat Just Accomplished
Holy crap!!! I just bowled a 181!!! (this morning anyway)... I don't know about you, but that's friggen amazing compared to the people that I bowl with (they average anywhere between 165 to 200). But you have to realize that for me to bowl anything past 150 is amazing... I even went up $4 bucks today (bringing the all-time count to when I started with them down to $9 dollars), so all in all, a good day.
Currently Most Useless
Upon thinking of what the most useless thing right now is... this pretty much goes without saying that it's the people that planned the whole "building a school right next to A-tech" idea. Ok, I understand that you have to build a new school, but I don't quite understand the whole idea behind the fact that you built a new parking lot just to force us onto that one... I mean hell, we should be able to keep our own parking lot and you guys should've planned the new school's entrance for that parking lot that you have us using... and making us driving all the way around for no apparently decent reason... Compacted soil or not, whatever money you spend or not, it bothers me that you're potentially ruining life for an entire school... especially since it's the only school with a Blue Ribbon of Excellence in the entire district (which doesn't say much anyway, but it says a lot more than most of the other schools), and essentially lowering admissions for said school... I mean it's really just a downhill slippery slope effect, and we really don't want that happening.
Two things before I go.
1. Hey look at my awesome sig I made because I wanted to!
... it didn't turn out bad if I do say so myself.
2. After this week, it's most likely been decided that I won't be going to prom. As much as it would seem like fun, the appeal's just gone at this point.
... and hey, look at the time! I'm into the whole double xkcd posting right now, since I find so many intriguing ones as it is, so here's a good way to look at certain catagories of things... just subsitute fruit with something else and you'll get a nice idea of life in pretty much any sense!
It's so friggen AMAZING!!!
Continuing the whole xkcd comic ideal, today's encompasses people's recent addiction to go to "blogger", so I've given them something to think about here.
I should really be doing homework right now, but you know how senioritis begins to affect you, and you're just like "... well, forget that." So instead I'm on here, typing this. Go figure, right?
The List
... so continuing our list, I've thought of something that would help... immensely.
4. Money - I know, I know, it seems kind of natural that I'd ask for something like this, but hey, money is perfectly acceptable for an Asian person like me.
5. Socks - Thinking about that list of all-time gifts has established that getting socks would be cool... because that way I don't have to buy any.
6. Anything me - I mean, if you think I'd like it (or love it, either way) then I'd go for it. The perfect example was Lisa's two books that she bought me for my b-day, I thought that was awesome.
Amazing Feat Just Accomplished
Holy crap!!! I just bowled a 181!!! (this morning anyway)... I don't know about you, but that's friggen amazing compared to the people that I bowl with (they average anywhere between 165 to 200). But you have to realize that for me to bowl anything past 150 is amazing... I even went up $4 bucks today (bringing the all-time count to when I started with them down to $9 dollars), so all in all, a good day.
Currently Most Useless
Upon thinking of what the most useless thing right now is... this pretty much goes without saying that it's the people that planned the whole "building a school right next to A-tech" idea. Ok, I understand that you have to build a new school, but I don't quite understand the whole idea behind the fact that you built a new parking lot just to force us onto that one... I mean hell, we should be able to keep our own parking lot and you guys should've planned the new school's entrance for that parking lot that you have us using... and making us driving all the way around for no apparently decent reason... Compacted soil or not, whatever money you spend or not, it bothers me that you're potentially ruining life for an entire school... especially since it's the only school with a Blue Ribbon of Excellence in the entire district (which doesn't say much anyway, but it says a lot more than most of the other schools), and essentially lowering admissions for said school... I mean it's really just a downhill slippery slope effect, and we really don't want that happening.
Two things before I go.
1. Hey look at my awesome sig I made because I wanted to!
... it didn't turn out bad if I do say so myself.
2. After this week, it's most likely been decided that I won't be going to prom. As much as it would seem like fun, the appeal's just gone at this point.
... and hey, look at the time! I'm into the whole double xkcd posting right now, since I find so many intriguing ones as it is, so here's a good way to look at certain catagories of things... just subsitute fruit with something else and you'll get a nice idea of life in pretty much any sense!
It's so friggen AMAZING!!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Back to the Old Days
I think it's time to try to reflect back to the old days of when I posted on Xanga (somewhere back in the beginning of the year), where I made long and mostly meaningless posts on whatever came to mind.... you know, the ones that Otis would actually read for no apparent reason other than to get a kick out of my... "unique writing skills."
So first off, I've become addicted with xkcd again that, in hindsight, I think it's kind of sad. So my new resolution is to actually find a funny xkcd comic to go along with every post... there's no reason behind it really, except that xkcd probably reflects what I would really do in life at random.
... so, for today's post, I found this particular panel here, because I know that sometimes the giant bass sound coming from a car annoys the crap out of you too... and you just want to do something to annoy them.
That's besides the point. I was working on the AP US Government packet for LaShomb (I'm still not certain I'm supposed to be making that s "upper-case" (still can't get used to using that word... meh), when I thought about the question my brother asked me in our weekly "Hey what's the family up that was have no idea about?" conversation. He asked me that since my graduation was coming up what I was thinking of wanting for a graduation gift. Naturally, being the humble person I am, I gave him my best response: "That's a good question, I'll get back to you on that."
So finally, after weeks of deliberation, I've thought of perhaps a few things that I would perhaps benefit me the most, no matter where I go.
The List
1. Laptop - Despite the fact that my current laptop is suiting my needs to an extent (thanks bro! The laptop so far has been a life-saver), the fact of the matter is that this laptop is about 3 years too old to suit my current lifestyle needs, which include mindless hours on Photoshop, Soundforge, and a multitude of other programs that my laptop is just not suited to actually run.
2. A camera - No, not one of those Cybershots or the tiny things the size of about my fingernail... an honest to goodness professional camera. I've realized that one of the things I want to be able to do is to be able to take professional photos, and using a Cybershot doesn't quite accomplish that purpose (though with the number of pictures I get to take, I'm not complaining too much yet).
3.An iPhone - I thought about just putting "cell phone" at first, since you all know the state of my phone I might as well have sent it to Iraq and throw it at the road-side bombs. As much as I love it (I recall telling my dad that it has tremendous sentimental value that I wouldn't give up), the fact is that I need a new phone. I was contemplating on thinking about another Sony Ericsson, but after looking (and playing around with) my friend's iPhone for about all of half an hour, I've decided that an iPhone would be killer too.
Tripping on the Past
While figuring my wish-list, I also thought about all the past gifts that I've gotten, and I finally thought about what the top gifts were... I don't know why, but remembering those these were perhaps some of the funniest and memorable moments in my life.
Number 6 - Legally Bound (from... Key Club pretty much)
Well, that surprise party was the coolest thing ever. There's not much else to be said, other than that the poster proudly doesn't fit anywhere in my room... so I've proudly put it next to the wall most visible, and every time somebody asks me "what's the rolled up thing?" I bring it out and show them. ^^-b
Number 5 - The Trifecta (from Felix)
During the "Family Gathering" in Taiwan, Emily organized "Secret Santa" for the kids in the area, and I got this awesome gift from her cousin Felix... well 3 in fact. The nerf gun was the coolest thing in the world, and afterwards we were all shooting around with it... for kicks. The... porcupine(?) is still sitting in my room, looking onwards.
Number 4 - Breakfast Goods (from Isabella and Jon)
Man, this was from a long time ago. I remember for my like... 9th birthday or so... that I got boxes of cereal from Jon and Isabella. I remember being that naive guy and was like... seriously? I got cereal? I didn't really mind back then, since I was a big fan of cereal anyway... ok, so I got cooler gifts too, but still, the cereal was a nice little ploy.
Number 3 - Socks (from Jon and Howard... and family I believe)
I'm pretty sure this was back in like... 5th grade. It was the first or second year that my family was in Las Vegas and everybody wanted to visit (for the obvious reasons of course... ahaha). Now see, my family knew that my brother and I always wore socks, but ever since he went to college he stopped, and it became just me that wore socks every day. That Christmas I remember getting these cool gifts (that a 5th grader would like anyway) and like a bazillion pairs of socks.
Number 2 - Useless Reading (from Lisa)
I think Lisa knows me too well (well her and Jane anyway, since she told me she helped her pick it out), because when I got that gift from her I couldn't stop laughing about it. The two books, "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" (but I've learned so much from it) and "101 Things Not to Do Before You Die" (lots of actually ironically useful ideas), are some of the funniest things I've every had time to waste to read on... It makes me feel bad that all I could get her was that Wong Lee Hom CD. Her card was awesome too.
Number 1 - The Bear (from Hana / Hannah / Hanna (=P))
Kind of cliche, but hey, it was the first teddy bear I ever got from somebody outside my family (my mom used to work at Dayton's in Rochester, and every year I got their seasonal teddy bear... they were cool). Back in like 8th grade too. It still sits next to my computer, just kind of chillin'.
... there were more, but I'm trying to end it so I can get back to doing homework... my god, there's so much more of it now. Before I go though, I leave with another xkcd comic here... well just because really.
So first off, I've become addicted with xkcd again that, in hindsight, I think it's kind of sad. So my new resolution is to actually find a funny xkcd comic to go along with every post... there's no reason behind it really, except that xkcd probably reflects what I would really do in life at random.
... so, for today's post, I found this particular panel here, because I know that sometimes the giant bass sound coming from a car annoys the crap out of you too... and you just want to do something to annoy them.
That's besides the point. I was working on the AP US Government packet for LaShomb (I'm still not certain I'm supposed to be making that s "upper-case" (still can't get used to using that word... meh), when I thought about the question my brother asked me in our weekly "Hey what's the family up that was have no idea about?" conversation. He asked me that since my graduation was coming up what I was thinking of wanting for a graduation gift. Naturally, being the humble person I am, I gave him my best response: "That's a good question, I'll get back to you on that."
So finally, after weeks of deliberation, I've thought of perhaps a few things that I would perhaps benefit me the most, no matter where I go.
The List
1. Laptop - Despite the fact that my current laptop is suiting my needs to an extent (thanks bro! The laptop so far has been a life-saver), the fact of the matter is that this laptop is about 3 years too old to suit my current lifestyle needs, which include mindless hours on Photoshop, Soundforge, and a multitude of other programs that my laptop is just not suited to actually run.
2. A camera - No, not one of those Cybershots or the tiny things the size of about my fingernail... an honest to goodness professional camera. I've realized that one of the things I want to be able to do is to be able to take professional photos, and using a Cybershot doesn't quite accomplish that purpose (though with the number of pictures I get to take, I'm not complaining too much yet).
3.An iPhone - I thought about just putting "cell phone" at first, since you all know the state of my phone I might as well have sent it to Iraq and throw it at the road-side bombs. As much as I love it (I recall telling my dad that it has tremendous sentimental value that I wouldn't give up), the fact is that I need a new phone. I was contemplating on thinking about another Sony Ericsson, but after looking (and playing around with) my friend's iPhone for about all of half an hour, I've decided that an iPhone would be killer too.
Tripping on the Past
While figuring my wish-list, I also thought about all the past gifts that I've gotten, and I finally thought about what the top gifts were... I don't know why, but remembering those these were perhaps some of the funniest and memorable moments in my life.
Number 6 - Legally Bound (from... Key Club pretty much)
Well, that surprise party was the coolest thing ever. There's not much else to be said, other than that the poster proudly doesn't fit anywhere in my room... so I've proudly put it next to the wall most visible, and every time somebody asks me "what's the rolled up thing?" I bring it out and show them. ^^-b
Number 5 - The Trifecta (from Felix)
During the "Family Gathering" in Taiwan, Emily organized "Secret Santa" for the kids in the area, and I got this awesome gift from her cousin Felix... well 3 in fact. The nerf gun was the coolest thing in the world, and afterwards we were all shooting around with it... for kicks. The... porcupine(?) is still sitting in my room, looking onwards.
Number 4 - Breakfast Goods (from Isabella and Jon)
Man, this was from a long time ago. I remember for my like... 9th birthday or so... that I got boxes of cereal from Jon and Isabella. I remember being that naive guy and was like... seriously? I got cereal? I didn't really mind back then, since I was a big fan of cereal anyway... ok, so I got cooler gifts too, but still, the cereal was a nice little ploy.
Number 3 - Socks (from Jon and Howard... and family I believe)
I'm pretty sure this was back in like... 5th grade. It was the first or second year that my family was in Las Vegas and everybody wanted to visit (for the obvious reasons of course... ahaha). Now see, my family knew that my brother and I always wore socks, but ever since he went to college he stopped, and it became just me that wore socks every day. That Christmas I remember getting these cool gifts (that a 5th grader would like anyway) and like a bazillion pairs of socks.
Number 2 - Useless Reading (from Lisa)
I think Lisa knows me too well (well her and Jane anyway, since she told me she helped her pick it out), because when I got that gift from her I couldn't stop laughing about it. The two books, "The Ultimate Book of Useless Information" (but I've learned so much from it) and "101 Things Not to Do Before You Die" (lots of actually ironically useful ideas), are some of the funniest things I've every had time to waste to read on... It makes me feel bad that all I could get her was that Wong Lee Hom CD. Her card was awesome too.
Number 1 - The Bear (from Hana / Hannah / Hanna (=P))
Kind of cliche, but hey, it was the first teddy bear I ever got from somebody outside my family (my mom used to work at Dayton's in Rochester, and every year I got their seasonal teddy bear... they were cool). Back in like 8th grade too. It still sits next to my computer, just kind of chillin'.
... there were more, but I'm trying to end it so I can get back to doing homework... my god, there's so much more of it now. Before I go though, I leave with another xkcd comic here... well just because really.
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